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Mar 8

Good morning, Father!
Thank you so much for all the exciting learning and progress lately! Homelessness seems more friendly with the possibility of having a laptop and creating videos of our crazy life on the road! Thank you for waking me up before the sun again today, already excited, already having the next step in mind, what I need to learn next! Please continue to guide me in my learning and experimentation, and please continue to prepare us in ALL ways for these coming changes, Lord. We still do not even have a working vehicle yet, but you know all about that, Father. I know you will provide. I still trust you completely! Please continue to help me refresh my knowledge of edible wild plants and others to avoid — in addition to preparing my belongings for storage and getting ready for video production. So MUCH to do — thank you, Lord! 😀

Hebrews 12:2 KJV

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-3 ERV

We have all these great people around us as examples. Their lives tell us what faith means. So we, too, should run the race that is before us and never quit. We should remove from our lives anything that would slow us down and the sin that so often makes us fall. 
We must never stop looking to Jesus. He is the leader of our faith, and he is the one who makes our faith complete. He suffered death on a cross. But he accepted the shame of the cross as if it were nothing because of the joy he could see waiting for him. And now he is sitting at the right side of God’s throne. 
Think about Jesus. He patiently endured the angry insults that sinful people were shouting at him. Think about him so that you won’t get discouraged and stop trying.

Father, I thank you that YOU are the author — not just of our faith but also of our story — and we are just the main characters in our own particular version of the story. That is SO cool, Lord! It is peaceful and reassuring to know that all we have to endure are some possible discomforts like some hunger, maybe sleeping in the cab or bed of a truck, peeing in pit toilets or in the woods, cooking over fire, or eating cold food out of cans. Some of these things are typical outdoor-adventure or roughing-it inconveniences that recreational campers embrace by choice, and the rest are things that have a high potential for improvement over time. I am grateful that neither my husband nor myself have to make decisions by ourselves — we have each other, and we have your Spirit to guide us. All that ANY of your children have to do is just be WILLING, and trust in you. YOU make the decisions, and you enable us to obey your will. Simple! Perhaps not always so easy, but SIMPLE. Thank you, Lord! 🙂


Mar 7

Good morning, Lord.
Thank you for this warmer weather — it was GREAT to have the windows and door open again yesterday! Thank you for helping us get my car ready for sale, and please bring the right people here to buy it, and please protect me from those who would take advantage. Please also protect my heart, Lord. I haven’t been able to drive that car for about a year now, but I know it is a symbol of my freedom and independence, so I ask YOU to be my freedom and my only true dependence! Please help me to use the money from the sale of my car to get the RIGHT laptop — one that will serve me VERY well in the months to come. And please help my husband use the rest of the money wisely, getting only the things we truly will need, to make it on our homeless adventures. Help him to understand these electrical and cooling issues better than any MAN could teach him, and please give him clear direction on what to get and what NOT to get. Please protect us from those who would take advantage or deal falsely. Amen.

Genesis 21:22-34 KJV

And it came to pass at that time, that Abimelech and Phichol the chief captain of his host spake unto Abraham, saying, God is with thee in all that thou doest: 
Now therefore swear unto me here by God that thou wilt not deal falsely with me, nor with my son, nor with my son’s son: but according to the kindness that I have done unto thee, thou shalt do unto me, and to the land wherein thou hast sojourned. 
And Abraham said, I will swear. 
And Abraham reproved Abimelech because of a well of water, which Abimelech’s servants had violently taken away. 
And Abimelech said, I wot not who hath done this thing: neither didst thou tell me, neither yet heard I of it, but to day. 
And Abraham took sheep and oxen, and gave them unto Abimelech; and both of them made a covenant. 
And Abraham set seven ewe lambs of the flock by themselves. 
And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What mean these seven ewe lambs which thou hast set by themselves? 
And he said, For these seven ewe lambs shalt thou take of my hand, that they may be a witness unto me, that I have digged this well. 
Wherefore he called that place Beersheba; because there they sware both of them. 
Thus they made a covenant at Beersheba: then Abimelech rose up, and Phichol the chief captain of his host, and they returned into the land of the Philistines. 
And Abraham planted a grove in Beersheba, and called there on the name of the LORD, the everlasting God. 
And Abraham sojourned in the Philistines’ land many days. 

Lord, I thank you that you are such an awesome storyteller! I thank you that I can trust you to write the story of my own life in a way that is pleasing to you. I thank you for forgiveness, and I thank you for HOPE. I thank you for giving me a new way to tell stories — through video! Father, thank you for helping me create my very FIRSTEST video EVER! 🙂 Please help me continue to practice with Animoto, then to make the transition to Adobe Premier Pro CC and Audition CC. Lord, please help me to ascend the learning curve of this industry-standard software, so that I can have a skill to trade on the road, and so that I can help my husband in his goal of having one or more YouTube channels. I thank you for making me a quick learner — and for all the other gifts you have grown inside me, equipping me faithfully for whatever you have coming for us the rest of this year and beyond. I trust you, Shepherd. Lean on!


Mar 6

Good morning, Father!
Thank you for waking me super-early again this morning, and please help me to use my time wisely, for you. Help me to prepare for the days ahead, and help me not to choose foolish ways to spend my time. I am so happy that you have given me LEARNING as my favorite way to spend my leisure time, Lord! It is FUN to learn all sorts of things, especially through the Great Courses! 😀

Proverbs 23:23 ERV

Truth, wisdom, learning, and understanding are worth paying money for. They are worth far too much to ever sell.

Proverbs 23:23 ISV

Purchase truth, but don’t sell it; store up wisdom, instruction, and understanding.

Purchase” = procure, own (obtain)
truth” = that which is firm & trustworthy
sell” = sell or surrender
[“store up” is not in the Greek, it actually is an understood ALSO…]
wisdom” = “wisdom in a good sense”
instruction” = chastisement, correction, warning
understanding” = knowledge, that which is mentally discerned
Fran’s personal interpretation:
GET and KEEP that which is firm and trustworthy… wisdom, correction, and knowledge.
Lord, I thank you for my ability to learn and to accept your correction and to seek your wisdom (which is pure, peaceable… James 3:17). I ask you to grow me in all 3 of these useful things, making me more pleasing to you. Please help me prepare for homelessness or whatever you have for my husband and I in the coming weeks and months. Help us to use our time very wisely, and to learn what we need to, before and after we leave this place. Help us to obtain the resources we truly need, and to NOT spend money on things we only THINK we need. Father, I really feel like your Spirit is pushing me to get a laptop computer, but I really need to sell my car in order to get the money for it. I only need about $500 to get one that will allow me to keep working, even from inside a vehicle or library — or sitting at a picnic table at a park. My husband has got electricity and several other things pretty well figured out, but we really need a reliable vehicle, Lord. Please guide us in how to either fix up the little bitty truck we do have — or guide us in how to get a different vehicle. Please bring the right people to our house to purchase our things, so we can have enough money for gas to make it to parks and such to “live” at, and please prepare everything else that we need. You see everything that is needed, Lord, and I trust you completely. Thank you for keeping my mind and heart steady, not falling into fear or despair. Thank you for the excitement of change, and a vision of how things COULD be. I give myself to you, Shepherd. Amen.


Mar 5

Good morning, Father.
Thank you for all the dreams and all the fellowship with you this morning. Thank you for teaching me, even as I sleep. Thank you for showing me that I really only need be faithful to YOU, as you are actually the only one who will never let me down, who will always be faithful yourself. Thank you for showing me the wisdom of storing up ALL my treasure with you, in the untouchable storehouse of your presence, your kingdom. And thank you for giving us treasures of your creation to enjoy here on earth as well — all the plants and animals and beauty and intricacies of nature, plus the beauty of people’s hearts! Father, I ask you to provide a way for my husband and I to go forth and see and enjoy more of these treasures, as well as to store up more with you. Thank you for your awesome provision and protection, Lord! 🙂

Matthew 13:18-30 ERV

“So listen to the meaning of that story about the farmer: 
“What about the seed that fell by the path? That is like the people who hear the teaching about God’s kingdom but do not understand it. The Evil One comes and takes away what was planted in their hearts. 
“And what about the seed that fell on rocky ground? That is like the people who hear the teaching and quickly and gladly accept it. 
But they do not let the teaching go deep into their lives. They keep it only a short time. As soon as trouble or persecution comes because of the teaching they accepted, they give up. 
“And what about the seed that fell among the thorny weeds? That is like the people who hear the teaching but let worries about this life and love for money stop it from growing. So it does not produce a crop in their lives. 
“But what about the seed that fell on the good ground? That is like the people who hear the teaching and understand it. They grow and produce a good crop, sometimes 100 times more, sometimes 60 times more, and sometimes 30 times more.” 
Then Jesus used another story to teach them. Jesus said, “God’s kingdom is like a man who planted good seed in his field. 
That night, while everyone was asleep, the man’s enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat and then left. 
Later, the wheat grew, and heads of grain grew on the plants. But at the same time the weeds also grew. 
Then the man’s servants came to him and said, ‘You planted good seed in your field. Where did the weeds come from?’ 
“The man answered, ‘An enemy planted weeds.’ “The servants asked, ‘Do you want us to go and pull up the weeds?’ 
“He answered, ‘No, because when you pull up the weeds, you might also pull up the wheat. 
Let the weeds and the wheat grow together until the harvest time. At the harvest time I will tell the workers this: First, gather the weeds and tie them together to be burned. Then gather the wheat and bring it to my barn.'” 

Lord, I am amazed at how your children can grow strong and fruitful, left here scattered among the children of the world. I thank you that you work in each of our lives individually, to produce a harvest of fruit that is pleasing to you. I pray that you use me and my husband to help at least a few souls to see that there really IS a different use of this life than to store up treasures here on earth, to bear the fruit that society treasures — money, power, status, and the so-called “security” of a paid-off mortgage and cars and college education for their children. You see my heart, Lord. You know that I only wish for people to be FREE. I do not have a desire to scold them or take away their riches or their freedoms. I only wish for them to feel your breath on the breeze, and see your grace in the plants and the animals and the scenery of nature. I want them to know you, Father. I want them to feel your love and acceptance. I want them to know the joy of your presence in their lives — the only TRUE security. And peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray these things for your people, Lord. Amen.


Mar 4

Good morning, Lord!
Thank you for an adequate night’s sleep and a good start to the day. Thank you for your awesome mercy and grace! Thank you for the excitement inside me, burning away all the doubts and fears. I am excited again to greet each new day, wondering what WE will discover today together, my Shepherd and myself — heehee! Father, I thank you for helping me to be as faithful to you as I have been so far, through all these trials and disappointments and scary days. I thank you that you will continue to teach me and guide me and sustain me and grow me, Lord — through all the coming scary days! Help me to keep putting my little self into your big loving hands each day and each moment, turning over my fears and hurts and weaknesses to you, and allowing you to use whatever you plant and grow in me, to help others. Prepare me, Lord, for the future — in body, mind, spirit — and tangible and intangible resources! Amen. Thank you, Lord. 🙂

Colossians 2:6-10 ERV

You accepted Christ Jesus as Lord, so continue to live following him. 
You must depend on Christ only, drawing life and strength from him.
Just as you were taught the truth, continue to grow stronger in your understanding of it. And never stop giving thanks to God. 
Be sure you are not led away by the teaching of those who have nothing worth saying and only plan to deceive you. That teaching is not from Christ. It is only human tradition and comes from the powers that influence this world. 
I say this because all of God lives in Christ fully, even in his life on earth. 
And because you belong to Christ you are complete, having everything you need. Christ is ruler over every other power and authority. 

Lord, I truly believe that I DO have everything I need. Thank you for restoring my hope and increasing my faith! Please guide me each day, showing me what needs to be done next, to be ready as much as possible for whatever you have for us in the coming months. I give you my mind, my time, my hands, my health, my self. Prepare me for even greater dependence upon you. Thank you, Shepherd!


Mar 3

Hello, Father!
Thank you so much for the awesome renewal of hope and joy!! Haha, even though we are still facing homelessness and losing basically everything we have now, you have so mercifully replaced it already with a vision of how things MIGHT go, how we MIGHT be more FREE than we could ever imagine, exploring your creation and learning so very much about ourselves and other people and animals and plants and life in general. I’m excited again, Lord, and I thank you so much for that! Lord, I lay myself at your feet, trusting you, knowing full well that the road ahead is lined with danger and all sorts of discomforts. Yet I’ve watched how you deal with me, leading me from hope to hope, adapting my heart to accept one thing, then another, then another, graciously and tenderly preparing me for things to come so that by the time something truly difficult arrives, I am already ready, already prepared by your tender husbandry. I trust that you will continue to do that, and that you will continue to lead us in your way and your will for us. Amen.

Romans 1:16-32 ISV

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is God’s power for the salvation of everyone who believes, of the Jew first and of the Greek as well. 
For in the gospel God’s righteousness is being revealed from faith to faith, as it is written, “The righteous will live by faith.” 
For God’s wrath is being revealed from heaven against all the ungodliness and wickedness of those who in their wickedness suppress the truth. 
For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God himself has made it plain to them. 
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible attributes—his eternal power and divine nature—have been understood and observed by what he made, so that people are without excuse. 
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him. Instead, their thoughts turned to worthless things, and their senseless hearts were darkened. 
Though claiming to be wise, they became fools 
and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images that looked like mortal human beings, birds, four-footed animals, and reptiles. 
For this reason, God delivered them to sexual impurity as they followed the lusts of their hearts and dishonored their bodies with one another. 
They exchanged God’s truth for a lie and worshipped and served the creation rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. 
For this reason, God delivered them to degrading passions as their females exchanged their natural sexual function for one that is unnatural. 
In the same way, their males also abandoned their natural sexual function toward females and burned with lust toward one another. Males committed indecent acts with males, and received within themselves the appropriate penalty for their perversion. 
Furthermore, because they did not think it worthwhile to keep knowing God fully, God delivered them to degraded minds to perform acts that should not be done. 
They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed, and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, quarreling, deceit, and viciousness. They are gossips, 
slanderers, God-haters, haughty, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to their parents, 
foolish, faithless, heartless, and ruthless. 
Although they know God’s just requirement—that those who practice such things deserve to die—they not only do these things but even applaud others who practice them. 

Lord, although I myself have absolutely NO desire to see anyone punished, no matter what they have done, I do know that you are righteous and have every right to punish the wicked in whatever manner you see fit, in whatever timeframe you desire. I thank you sincerely for convicting me of wicked thoughts, manners of speech, and behaviors that do not please you. I invite you to continue to point out to me all the ways that I am wicked or in any way displeasing to you. When I step off your path, I trust you to warn me. When I rebel against your will, I invite you to strike me, get my attention — or give me time to realize what I have done, how you are not right there with me. Father, you know my heart. My most earnest desire is to be found faithful to you. And second of course is for those I love to be FREE and to know you personally, and to be known of you. Those simple yet profound things are ENOUGH reward for me. I do not desire to see anyone punished and I do not wish for any other rewards than those. I thank you for YOUR faithfulness, and I thank you again for the seeds of HOPE planted in me this week. I love you, my Shepherd. Lead on! 😀


Mar 2

Good morning, Father.
Thank you for hope again this morning, showing me in my mind’s eye what COULD happen. It seems impossible, Lord, but I know you are the God of impossibilities, and it really seems that you enjoy rescuing your people at the last moment some times. Thank you for your presence in our lives, closing the right doors and opening the right doors, so that we can know which way to walk. And even though it SEEMS like all the doors are closed right now, I trust you to open one for us and provide a way for us to walk through. Father, please work your miracles. You know what we need. It appears to me that we at LEAST need a working vehicle, and preferably some type of RV or camper, if we are to be homeless. Without a working vehicle, I guess we would need a good person to take us in and give us shelter for a time. No one has stepped forward to help, and few have even come over to look at the things we are trying to sell (basically everything we own!), so we really are looking to YOU for help, Lord. I trust you completely, and I thank you for the peace I have this morning. Please help me to keep looking to you and not get overwhelmed with fear of the unknown. YOU are known, and YOU are Faithful, Lord. Amen.

Isaiah 54:2-5 ERV

“Make your tent bigger. Open your doors wide. Don’t think small! Make your tent large and strong, 
because you will grow in all directions. Your children will take over many nations and live in the cities that were destroyed. 
Don’t be afraid! You will not be disappointed. People will not say bad things against you. You will not be embarrassed. When you were young, you felt shame. But you will forget that shame now. You will not remember the shame you felt when you lost your husband. 
Your real husband is the one who made you. His name is the LORD All-Powerful. The Holy One of Israel is your Protector, and he is the God of all the earth! 

Lord, I have never known life without shame. It seems to be my companion and even part of my identity, since the first instances of abuse when I was still in diapers. Although I feel I have been cleansed from nearly all the shame of my youth, I still feel hindered by the shame of these last few years and my present state of poverty. If it is your will for me to continue to endure this extreme poverty that just seems to keep getting worse, then I ask you to please teach me how to let go of the shame of it, to stop feeling like your kicking post, and to start living in JOY no matter what it LOOKS like around me. Before I was facing homelessness and the loss of everything I own, I felt so much joy that I wondered if you were about to take my life, for I could not see how I could hold any more joy than I already had. But these last few weeks or so, I often feel crushed, feeling like you MUST not love me, if you allow so much to happen to one person in one life. I know this is foolish thought, but I can’t help the hurt, Lord. Help me to be FREE, no matter what you choose for me. But above all, help me to be faithful to the end. Thank you, Shepherd.


Mar 1

Hello, Father.
Thank you for renewing my HOPE, giving me something I can look forward to, AND giving a bit of lightness to the house for a whole day! 🙂 Thank you for fellowship and closeness, and thank you for keeping us healthy and active. Thank you for burning us with your holy fire in so many ways, Lord, refining us and making the eternal parts stronger and more stable, even as you burn away more and more of the things our flesh desires. Thank you for this time of stretching, no matter how uncomfortable it may seem at times. Thank you for loving us enough to correct us, Father. Amen.

Psalm 12 ERV

To the director: With the sheminith. A song of David. Save me, LORD! We can no longer trust anyone! All the good, loyal people are gone. 
People lie to their neighbors. They say whatever they think people want to hear. 
The LORD should cut off their lying lips and cut out their bragging tongues. 
Those people think they can win any argument. They say, “We are so good with words, no one will be our master.” 
They took advantage of the poor and stole what little they had. But the LORD knows what they did, and he says, “I will rescue those who are poor and helpless, and I will punish those who hurt them.” 
The LORD’S words are true and pure, like silver purified by fire, like silver melted seven times to make it perfectly pure. 
LORD, take care of the helpless. Protect them forever from the wicked people in this world. 
The wicked are all around us, and everyone thinks evil is something to be praised! 

Lord, I thank you for any purification you put me through, as it makes me stronger and more pleasing to you. I thank you for these hard times, and I thank you for the HOPE of good times to come. I thank you for my awesome husband and children, friends and family. I thank you for your love and your awesome daily care. I thank you for all your miraculous provision, especially the ones that have not even become manifest yet. Thank you for giving me a measure of faith and joy, and thank you for loving me, faithful Shepherd.


Feb 28

Good morning, Father.
I am up before the sun again, heart in hand, offering the broken pieces to you. Father, you see all that we have been through, all that we are. My awesome husband with his big heart went way out of his way for every single customer and boss he worked for, then the company went under and never paid him for the last four to six weeks of his work, and things have gone downhill ever since. Then he drove his truck into the ground working for a man who again did not pay him, this time out of simple greed — and now my husband — your son! — has been without a vehicle and therefore without work, for over three months now. We’ve been trying to make it on my tiny income that is really only enough to pay for things BESIDES rent. Now we’ve used all we have to pay one month of rent and are still 2 months behind. It hurts, Lord. We have one month to sell everything we can before we get evicted. It seems impossible to make enough to get a working vehicle, let alone money for more rent on top of that. I could say a whole lot more, but WHY? My words do not matter. It is YOUR Word that matters. And You are Faithful, Shepherd. I still trust you completely. Even with my broken heart.

Psalm 109:21-28 ERV

My Lord GOD, treat me in a way that brings honor to your name. Save me because of your faithful love. 
I am only a poor, helpless man. I am so sad; my heart is broken. 
I feel my life is over, fading like a shadow at day’s end. I feel like a bug that someone brushed away. 
My knees are weak from fasting. I have lost weight and become thin. 
My enemies insult me. They look at me and shake their heads. 
LORD my God, help me! Show your faithful love and save me! 
Then they will know that you did it. They will know that it was your power, LORD, that helped me. 
They curse me, but you can bless me. They attacked me, so defeat them. Then I, your servant, will be happy. 

Father, I thank you for giving me little ways to break up my day and keep my chin up. I thank you for reminding me that I can still read little bits before the headaches begin. Some day, when I can afford new contacts or a pair of glasses, I will be able to read more, and I will rejoice! For now, I can take little 5 or 10 minute breaks and read a little bit, or watch a learning show, or do some physical exercise, to lift my spirits, help my heart. I can hug my husband or ask my daughter how she’s doing. I can sit on the porch and hear the birds. I can thank you for every little thing in my life that does not SUCK. Like I thank you for my art supplies that sit ready, waiting for me to feel free enough again — some day — to use them. I can thank you for my little 4 inch art cards, and how I’ve been able to do one each and every day, showing my heart that I still CARE about my art, I just don’t have enough to put into it right now. I can thank you for my computer that is still working MOST of the time, and still has close to 2 months left on its software lease. I can thank you for my awesome phone that only costs me $13 per month — yay! I can thank you for my awesome friend who lives across the country yet still warms my heart with her words in my email box. And I can thank you that I have three awesome sons who are unaffected by the poverty and other failings of their mother, for they are grown and no longer live with me. I wish I could visit them, Lord. But I guess that’s just something else I have to look forward to, some time in the future. Thank you for keeping me healthy and not letting me give up, Lord. Thank you for helping me make it through another day. Amen.


Feb 27

Lord, I really do not know what is going on. I THOUGHT I was doing better yesterday, but that only lasted an hour or so. I tried to keep going, keep working, keep trusting you. But when our landlord called, demanding his money, and I had to hear my husband say the things that he said… I have been a zombie ever since, staring off into space in some sort of daze. I feel desperate for kindness, compassion, understanding, and the support of other humans who can actually DO something to HELP. But all I have is you, Lord. I won’t even say any more, for fear I will hurt myself or someone I care about. Lord, please help me to remember that I am blessed, not cursed, and that I am loved by you, and that is ENOUGH. Carry my heart, Shepherd. I give it to you.

Isaiah 40:28-31 ERV

Surely you know the truth. Surely you have heard. The LORD is the God who lives forever! He created all the faraway places on earth. He does not get tired and weary. You cannot learn all he knows. 
He helps tired people be strong. He gives power to those without it. 
Young men get tired and need to rest. Even young boys stumble and fall. 
But those who trust in the LORD will become strong again—like eagles that grow new feathers. They will run and not get weak. They will walk and not get tired. 

Lord, I really need new feathers — these ones are so worn out they HURT! Or something like that. I don’t even know what I need, truth be told. I can not even assess my own condition. I just hurt. Father, I am weary beyond my understanding. I am struggling with suicidal thoughts and ideations. I feel like there is plenty of hope inside YOU, but that I MYSELF am hopeless, beyond repair, not worthy of help or love or support. I don’t even want to be around myself, but what can I do? I better just stop writing and put my stinky little self in your big, loving hands — and pray that there is SOMETHING there for you to love. Amen.


Feb 26

Good morning, Father!
Thank you for helping me to make it safely through all of these days when I’ve felt like my heart is broken and scattered. Thank you for giving me perseverance, helping me to keep going, keep working, day after day, never giving up, keeping my eyes on you and on the things you have given me to do. Thank you for helping me to be faithful in this small way! Thank you for waking me with a NEW hope and fresh insight this morning! I don’t know if perhaps your people are praying for me and you are answering them, but I DO know that whatever your reason, you are showing me your mercy and your care, and I thank you. Thank you for showing me hope again, the “Big Picture” beyond the coming eviction and possible homelessness. And I thank you that it is even a little bit warmer this morning, too — so that even though there is no heat in this house, I do have this little pocket of warmer air from my space heater, and I have multiple layers of clothes, including warm slippers! 🙂

Psalm 119:130 ERV

As people understand your word, it brings light to their lives. Your word makes even simple people wise.

Deuteronomy 32:1-4 ERV

“Skies, listen and I will speak. Earth, hear the words of my mouth. 
My teachings will come like the rain, like a mist falling to the ground, like a gentle rain on the soft grass, like rain on the green plants. 
Praise God as I speak the LORD’S name! 
“The Lord is the Rock, and his work is perfect! Yes, all his ways are right! God is true and faithful. He is good and honest. 

Thank you, Father, for being so Faithful! Thank you for making someone simple like me to have just enough wisdom to begin to be faithful to you. Please help me to help others today, building my website for them, for the future. I give my work to you, Lord. Do with it as you will, and let your will be done to me according to your desire. Direct my path and help me to always choose you over mine own flesh. Comfort those whom I love, and draw them into a closer relationship with you, so that they will be FREE and have JOY. Amen! 😀


Feb 25

Good morning, Lord.
Please excuse my broken heart. It feels like it is lying all over the place, scattered throughout my environment. Thank you, Father, for protecting my life. I thank you that I can still look forward to seeing nature. Right now, it is the only thing that seems to be granted me, for I can walk out onto the cold porch and look at the trees, and listen to whatever birds might be up this early. Perhaps the robins are hunting worms as day begins to dawn. Thank you for my connection with your creation, Oh Lord.

Father, I hurt so bad! I had this dream, just moments ago, where a female athlete had a slogan on her website or Facebook or something: “I inspire science”. I think she supported some science organization or something, and had a link to it. I think she may even have given money to it, or had some science articles or some type of information on her website or Facebook page. And I admired her, felt glad that she was alive and sharing with children and other adults, encouraging them in science. Then I woke up. And I realized: Wow! I don’t just inspire science through one website or one Facebook page, I inspire science and history and math and geographic literacy and English literacy and Spanish literacy and handwriting and nature awareness and self awareness and world awareness and creativity… through a dozen different websites and over half a dozen different Facebook pages. Yet I am so ALONE and facing homelessness and the loss of everything I own!! And I know I will meet people some time in my future, who will shed a tear then for my aloneness now, wishing they had known me right now, when I need support the most. And I know that in the future I will help so many countless people in every way I possibly can, pouring out myself just as much as I have since I was a small child and sought to comfort and protect even my own abusers. Why did you make me with such a big heart, Lord? And why am I so alone right now? Would it be such a horrible thing for someone to reach out and give my family a car or a place to stay while we get back on our feet? I have given away a car before, and I have given away a place to live. My husband has given away so much money and cars and rent money and protection for the weak and all sorts of things. I know you want to be our hero and save us at the last minute, Lord, and I give you that right and that honor. But I must be REAL and say that this really, truly HURTS, Lord. It FEELS like I am your kicking post, just a mangy chicken designed to lay eggs and feed others, yet barely given enough resources to survive and keep producing. And yet, how can I complain? I serve only you, Lord. And my biggest desire in life is to be faithful to you. Second is for those that I love to be FREE and know you, and grow in a knowledge of you and relationship with you. That is ENOUGH. I do not NEED companions. I do not NEED any human to support me. It would be NICE to REST for a change and have someone ELSE bring in some income, walk to the store, shop for or prepare food, and do other things that contribute to the needs of the family. But I know with ALL certainty that if I really and truly did NEED those things, YOU would provide, Lord. I trust you completely. Please forgive the leakings of my heart, help me to lay these sorrows at your feet, and move forward, alternately packing up my things in boxes that may just get left behind in an abandoned house — and doing my work, writing for my namesake website and through it and the rest of my online presence, continuing to “inspire” and encourage others in every good thing under the sun. Thank you for giving me a way to help others, Lord. Amen.

Psalm 42:5-11 ERV

Why am I so sad? Why am I so upset? I tell myself, “Wait for God’s help! You will again be able to praise him, your God, the one who will save you.” In my sadness I say, “I will remember you from here on this small hill, where Mount Hermon and the Jordan River meet.” 
I hear the roar of the water coming from deep within the earth. It shouts to the water below as it tumbles down the waterfall. God, your waves come one after another, crashing all around and over me. 
By day the LORD shows his faithful love, and at night I have a song for him—a prayer for the God of my life. 
I say to God, my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I suffer this sadness that my enemies have brought me?” 
Their constant insults are killing me. They never stop asking, “Where is your God?” 
Why am I so sad? Why am I so upset? I tell myself, “Wait for God’s help! You will again be able to praise him, your God, the one who will save you.”


Feb 24

Good morning, Lord.
Thank you for helping me make it through another day. Thank you for helping me wind down and relax a bit last night finally. Thank you for reassuring me that “you got this” — that you are still in control, still taking care of little me. Please guide me today, show me what I need to get done, to prepare for the coming eviction and moving to wherever we might be going, Lord. While a big part of me is frightened — we do not even own a vehicle to live in ! — another part of me is calm, knowing you will provide. I trust you completely, Shepherd. Help me to reflect your awesome Love to others, even during these difficult days. Amen.

John 14:15-21 ERV

“If you love me, you will do what I command. 
I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper to be with you forever. 
The Helper is the Spirit of truth. The people of the world cannot accept him, because they don’t see him or know him. But you know him. He lives with you, and he will be in you. 
“I will not leave you all alone like orphans. I will come back to you. 
In a very short time the people in the world will not see me anymore. But you will see me. You will live because I live. 
On that day you will know that I am in the Father. You will know that you are in me and I am in you. 
Those who really love me are the ones who not only know my commands but also obey them. My Father will love such people, and I will love them. I will make myself known to them.” 

Lord, I thank you for making yourself known to me, although I have done nothing to deserve such grace and favor. I feel richly blessed, despite being extremely poor in this world. I have bubbling joy in my heart, and great love for your Creation, including even the people who have done me wrong. I forgive them, Father, and I ask you to forgive them as well. Help me to remain strong and faithful to the end. Amen. I trust you, Lord. Thank you for true peace that surpasses all understanding. 🙂


Feb 23

Good morning, Father.
It really feels like it’s been longer than one day since my last post. Father, please forgive my achy heart, with its roots watered by too many salty tears. My heart feels like it is begging for comfort and solid support, but I know that the only true stability lies in YOU, Father. I thank you that my female heart has never experienced a time when I have been surrounded and supported by other female hearts — seemingly the “norm” for my gender. I thank you for bringing me through 45 years of life, never having anyone reliable enough to lean on. Father, this isolation HURTS, but it has made me stronger — it makes me lean only on YOU. I thank you, Lord, for what you HAVE provided — 3 awesome sons grown into good men, an awesome daughter who REALLY needs someone that SHE can lean on, a friend across the country who warms my email box each week with her words, and a husband who truly desires to serve you. Thank you for keeping my heart warm inside, with a nice heart-fire glowing, so that anyone I come in contact with can receive the hospitality of YOUR love, rather than the stinky garbage bags of my life’s circumstances. Thank you for making me a sisterless sister to ALL, spreading your joy through my eyes and my smile and my words. You are awesome, Father. 🙂

1 Timothy 5:1-5 ERV

Don’t speak angrily to an older man. But talk to him as if he were your father. Treat the younger men like brothers. 
Treat the older women like mothers. And treat the younger women with respect like sisters. 
Take care of widows who really need help. 
But if a widow has children or grandchildren, the first thing they need to learn is this: to show their devotion to God by taking care of their own family. They will be repaying their parents, and this pleases God. 
A widow who really needs help is one who has been left all alone. She trusts God to take care of her. She prays all the time, night and day, and asks God for help. 

Father, I truly do appreciate how you’ve used adverse circumstances to make me stronger. Still acknowledging this, Lord, and still accepting your will for me whatever it may be, I cry out to you in my weariness. Help me to speak these truths, get them off my heart and LEAVE them at your feet, an offering to you upon your altar:
My example of a “father” is one who uses my body — beginning while it is still in diapers — to pay his debts to other men, then to use it to satisfy his own lustful desires.
My example of a “mother” is someone who tells me not to cry, for it upsets her.
My example of a “sister” is one who is much, much older than me yet directs abusers’ attention away from herself by pointing them MY direction instead.
I don’t have any real examples of a grandparent, a brother, an aunt or uncle — all of whom existed but were absent in my life, existing far, far away — as were my other biological sisters.
And now, Lord, I am just WEARY, trying to support my husband and daughter these last several months by myself with NO vehicle, walking to the stores almost every day, spending countless hours pouring out everything YOU give me, Lord, in order to be a good wife and mother and yet still trying to do the work you gave me, building my websites and doing my art — at least one art card each day, so that I don’t feel I’ve abandoned my own heart.
I have been betrayed, yet I have refused to betray my friends or family.
I have been abused, yet I refused to be an abuser myself.
Everyone around me seems to be “a hurter” — but I refuse to hurt anyone.
Everyone seems to be pessimistic, yet you have created within me an incurable optimist.
I feel like a total and complete FOOL, Lord.
I have traded in everything of value in this life.
Please forgive me, but once in a while it is HARD to feel like I have anything to show for it.
Lord, I sincerely thank you that I can wash a load of laundry right now, although I cannot trust that I will even have a washing machine next week.
I thank you that I can blow my nose on toilet paper right now, knowing that in a week or a month I may not even own a roll of toilet paper.
I thank you for the shower I took today, surrounded by mold and a floor that is caving in, knowing that my “floor” next week or next month may be the floorboards of a vehicle.
Yet I haven’t owned a working vehicle in 11 months now — so even THAT seems unlikely.
I hurt, Lord.
It LOOKS like you love everyone else, but not me.
So I am confessing that, and letting it go.
I turn my tear-filled eyes to you, and I choose to reflect back to you your own LOVE in those eyes you gave me, Lord.
Do to me as you will, Shepherd.
I trust you completely.


Feb 22

Hello, Father.
Thank you for the crazy days and the shaking of foundations and preconceptions. Thank you for new understandings and new freedoms. Thank you for sustaining me and growing me. Thank you for bringing each of my children safely through ALL of their teenage years — complete as of TODAY! Please give my daughter a joyful twentieth birthday today, and please help us to know what to do tomorrow and beyond, to prepare to move to a new home — or some type of temporary place — in approximately one month. Please help my heart be strong through these extremely unstable times, Father. YOU are my stability.

Psalm 62 ERV

To the director, Jeduthun. A song of David. I must calm down and turn to God; only he can rescue me. 
He is my Rock, the only one who can save me. He is my high place of safety, where no army can defeat me. 
How long will you people attack me? Do you all want to kill me? I am like a leaning wall, like a fence ready to fall. 
You want only to destroy me, to bring me down from my important position. It makes you happy to tell lies about me. In public, you say nice things, but in private, you curse me. Selah 
I must calm down and turn to God; he is my only hope. 
He is my Rock, the only one who can save me. He is my high place of safety, where no army can defeat me. 
My victory and honor come from God. He is the mighty Rock, where I am safe. 
People, always put your trust in God! Tell him all your problems. God is our place of safety. Selah 
People cannot really help. You cannot depend on them. Compared to God, they are nothing— no more than a gentle puff of air! 
Don’t trust in your power to take things by force. Don’t think you will gain anything by stealing. And if you become wealthy, don’t put your trust in riches. 
God says there is one thing you can really depend on, and I believe it: “Strength comes from God!” 
My Lord, your love is real. You reward all people for what they do. 

Father, I thank you for the reward of your presence in my life. Thank you for your closeness and the comfort of your Spirit. Thank you for the calmness I experience — at least MOST of the time. Thank you for the work you’ve given me, even though I can do very little of it right now. It gives me hope for the future, and structure for whatever time is not eaten up by daily life and preparations. I give you my time, Lord, and I ask you to guide me and help me to be pleasing to you. Help me to be ready for anything and everything that is coming in the next few months, through prayer and thanksgiving.

Colossians 4:2 ERV

Never stop praying. Be ready for anything by praying and being thankful. 


Feb 21

Hello, Father.
Thank you so much for healing and hope. Thank you for ALL your awesome mercies, Lord! I would so much rather be broke and homeless and relying upon you for every tiny little thing, than to think myself secure due to my position, my income, my connections, or even my own “goodness”. I thank you for making me humble enough to realize that I truly do need you, and yet I actually DESERVE nothing from you. Thank you for having mercy upon me, Lord, and pruning unnecessary things out of my life and my heart, so that I can more freely serve you. Thank you for giving me faith, and teaching me to be faithful. You are awesome, Lord, and I trust you completely. Amen.

Romans 10:11-21 ERV

Yes, the Scriptures say, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be disappointed.” 
It says this because there is no difference between those who are Jews and those who are not. The same Lord is the Lord of all people. And he richly blesses everyone who looks to him for help. 
Yes, “everyone who trusts in the Lord will be saved.” 
But before people can pray to the Lord for help, they must believe in him. And before they can believe in the Lord, they must hear about him. And for anyone to hear about the Lord, someone must tell them. 
And before anyone can go and tell them, they must be sent. As the Scriptures say, “How wonderful it is to see someone coming to tell good news!” 
But not all the people accepted that good news. Isaiah said, “Lord, who believed what we told them?” 
So faith comes from hearing the Good News. And people hear the Good News when someone tells them about Christ. 
But I ask, “Did those people not hear the Good News?” Yes, they heard—as the Scriptures say, “Their voices went out all around the world. Their words went everywhere in the world.” 
Again I ask, “Did the people of Israel not understand?” Yes, they did understand. First, Moses says this for God: “I will use those who are not really a nation to make you jealous. I will use a nation that does not understand to make you angry.” 
Then Isaiah is bold enough to say this for God: “The people who were not looking for me— they are the ones who found me. I made myself known to those who did not ask for me.” 
But about the people of Israel God says, “All day long I stood ready to accept those people, but they are stubborn and refuse to obey me.” 

Lord, I give my crazy heart and my crazy situation to you. One moment, I feel I could be completely happy and content and even joyous, homeless and living under a bridge (again) having lost everything I have. But the next thing I know, I feel like a small child being compressed in a vice, and I don’t know if I will last another moment. And then I grow calm, and feel safe and protected by you again. Life is very changeable and uncertain right now, Lord. I ask for your peace, and I ask for your guidance and support. I trust you, Shepherd. Amen.


Feb 20

Hello, Father.
Thank you for all the fellowship and growth, and thank you for taking care of us. Please intervene to make your will be done in our lives, and please guide us in following you. Amen.

James 1:2-6 ERV

My brothers and sisters, you will have many kinds of trouble. But this gives you a reason to be very happy. 
You know that when your faith is tested, you learn to be patient in suffering. 
If you let that patience work in you, the end result will be good. You will be mature and complete. You will be all that God wants you to be. 
Do any of you need wisdom? Ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to everyone. So he will give you wisdom. 
But when you ask God, you must believe. Don’t doubt him. Whoever doubts is like a wave in the sea that is blown up and down by the wind. 

James 3:13-18 ERV

Are there any among you who are really wise and understanding? Then you should show your wisdom by living right. You should do what is good with humility. A wise person does not boast. 
If you are selfish and have bitter jealousy in your hearts, you have no reason to boast. Your boasting is a lie that hides the truth. 
That kind of “wisdom” does not come from God. That “wisdom” comes from the world. It is not spiritual. It is from the devil. 
Where there is jealousy and selfishness, there will be confusion and every kind of evil. 
But the wisdom that comes from God is like this: First, it is pure. It is also peaceful, gentle, and easy to please. This wisdom is always ready to help people who have trouble and to do good for others. This wisdom is always fair and honest. 
People who work for peace in a peaceful way get the blessings that come from right living. 


Feb 19

Lord, the sun is not up, yet I am up, hurting and too lonely to sleep. Father, I ask you to help me be humble, and not take my pain out on anyone around me — including myself! Oh faithful Shepherd, I lift my heart to you and ask you to comfort me in my sorrow. Restore my strength and make me stable, resting on YOU. Help me to remember that you alone are ENOUGH and I really do not need any human or their words or their touch or even their understanding, in order to be STRONG. All I need is you. Thank you for sustaining your people and giving us all that we truly need, Father. Thank you for allowing me to rest upon you. Amen.

Psalm 118:14-24 ERV

The LORD is my strength and my reason for singing. He saved me! 
You can hear the victory celebration in the homes of those who live right. The LORD has shown his great power again! 
The LORD’S arm is raised in victory. The LORD has shown his great power again. 
I will live and not die, and I will tell what the LORD has done. 
The LORD punished me, but he did not let me die. 
Gates of goodness, open for me, and I will come in and worship the LORD. 
Those are the LORD’S gates, and only good people can go through them. 
Lord, I thank you for answering my prayer. I thank you for saving me. 
The stone that the builders rejected became the cornerstone. 
The LORD made this happen, and we think it is wonderful! 
This is the day the LORD has made. Let us rejoice and be happy today!

Lord, I can feel my heart stiffening, building a wall of protection around myself. That doesn’t seem right. I don’t want to be angry and push others away. I desire for humility to keep me supple and open and warm and loving. I know I may very well get hurt — again and again and again. I may continue to be betrayed the rest of my life here on this earth. But that will end when I am finally called home to you. I will not always suffer or be alone. And while I am still here, I have opportunities to show others your love, your acceptance, your heart for them. Help me to lay aside my own heart and take on yours, Shepherd. Help me to be a better reflection of you and not close myself off in bitterness and fear. I lay down rejection and betrayal at your feet, Jesus, knowing that you laid them at our Father’s feet as well. Help me to carry the burden of life using YOUR strength, not my own self-preservation. You are my strength and my reason for singing. You save me. Thank you, Lord.


Feb 18

Father, I feel lost and alone and wounded today. Please help me to give you these burdens, instead of foolishly thinking I must carry them by myself. Please comfort and strengthen my heart, and help me to accept your peace and joy. Thank you, faithful Shepherd.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 ERV

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the Father who is full of mercy, the God of all comfort. 
He comforts us every time we have trouble so that when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us. 
We share in the many sufferings of Christ. In the same way, much comfort comes to us through Christ.


Feb 17

Good morning, Lord!
Thank you for these last two extremely productive days, and thank you for giving me work to do to keep me sane and hopeful! Thank you for waking me up today with a fire under my feet, motivated to put up a Craigslist ad and notices on Facebook, to try to basically sell everything we have. I trust you, Lord. I know that you will continue to close the right doors and open the right doors, leading us forward according to YOUR will and purpose.

Hebrews 6:10 ERV

God is fair, and he will remember all the work you have done. He will remember that you showed your love to him by helping his people and that you continue to help them.

Father, I thank you for showing me some ways to encourage awesome people and spread the word about them and their art and their projects. I thank you for all the blessings I receive in the form of feedback and occasional sales of memberships on I THOUGHT I would get blessed by Patrons, and it sincerely does hurt my heart and discourage me that only one person supports my work in this way, but I give that to you, Father. Help me to let that GO. Your ways are so much better than mine! I accept your will and your provision.

Lord, I am delighted that I have the ability to write and add links with ease, to code HTML effortlessly, and to take pics or find free pics, and make all my writings and such look pretty good. I thank you for my art, although I confess that it is almost impossible to engage my heart and time in anything beyond my art cards right now, while I feel like our living situation is so unstable, and we don’t even have heat or a car or enough money to pay bills — yet. I thank you for those cards and for my consistency in making one each and every day, Lord God, so that I do not feel like my art is being completely neglected. Forgive me for not feeling safer than I do, OH Lord. Forgive me for not trusting you so much that I could be unconcerned about the situation and able to make art and feel completely FREE. Grow me, Lord. Bring me to a place where I am truly content and SECURE in ANY circumstance, no matter how grim. Amen! 😀

Thank you again, Lord, for my health and for taking care of me and my loved ones!