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Fran Lafferty

Fran Lafferty

I shall yet learn, and grow beyond the immaturity of adulthood. I shall again laugh, and learn the wisdom of a child.

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Apr 17

Okay, Lord, while I thank you for the crystal-clear look backward in the mirror at how stupidly I have acted myself in the past, I ask you to intervene with your mercy and help this little old dude come to his rock-bottom point quickly and safely, so he can climb back out of the hole he’s dug for himself. Poor guy, he soooooo reminds me of myself, when I felt trapped in my first marriage, feeling like I was carrying the weight of the world on my own shoulders alone, and being an absolute fool, fueling my bitter rage by doing more, more MORE things that I was certain someone ELSE was supposed to have done. He is just as blind as I was then, not realizing how I had sabotaged myself with my own foolish expectations. It is so obvious to me now how this man creates his own problems, gives himself work, creates his little pocket of stress that blinds him to reality. Then just when someone is about to help… and he KNOWS it… he has to run over there and do it himself, to fuel his bitter resentment even more. I remember a specific instance of doing that myself. It SUCKED! Now this poor guy has trapped himself so securely that ONLY humility will help him get out. He has been spiraling out of control for weeks, sinking for months, and recently, my Mate and I have been paying the price, being the target of his rage. Lord, I am so proud of my Mate for refusing to make things even worse for this old guy, despite how much he has disrespected both myself and my Mate. We both are ready to leave this park, to restore peace for this man and especially for the owner and his wife, who have been like parents or grandparents to me here. I feel great peace, like we are firmly in your Hand, Lord. I KNOW with absolute certainty that you will take awesome care of us, faithful Shepherd. I thank you for my Mate, who has helped me grow well past the point where I could do the foolish behavior I am seeing this old dude do, expecting things without letting people know, then digging a pit of self-righteousness and martyr mentality, pushing everyone away and making it impossible for any human to help him. THANK YOU for teaching ME a better way, Lord — how to let things GO and not make foolish assumptions (although I am sure I still must do that sometimes, lol). Please help this little old dude to find the humility he NEEDS to let go of his wrath and self-righteous justification, and grow past it. Intervene and show your mercy here, Lord. And please help my Mate and I continue to hold our tongues and not fuel the fire. Amen.

James 1:19-27 ERV

My dear brothers and sisters, always be more willing to listen than to speak. Keep control of your anger. 
Anger does not help you live the way God wants. 
So get rid of everything evil in your lives—every kind of wrong you do. Be humble and accept God’s teaching that is planted in your hearts. This teaching can save you. 
Do what God’s teaching says; don’t just listen and do nothing. When you only sit and listen, you are fooling yourselves. 
Hearing God’s teaching and doing nothing is like looking at your face in the mirror 
and doing nothing about what you saw. You go away and immediately forget how bad you looked. 
But when you look into God’s perfect law that sets people free, pay attention to it. If you do what it says, you will have God’s blessing. Never just listen to his teaching and forget what you heard. 
You might think you are a very religious person. But if your tongue is out of control, you are fooling yourself. Your careless talk makes your offerings to God worthless. 
The worship that God wants is this: caring for orphans or widows who need help and keeping yourself free from the world’s evil influence. This is the kind of worship that God accepts as pure and good. 


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