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Mar 3

Good morning, Lord.
The way I see it, I have at least 4 different “problems” that are bogging down my heart and mind and really becoming a burden. Perhaps the simplest is the ongoing problem of helping my “boss” get into his Facebook account when all possible passwords that he remembers do not work and both the FB account AND the email address used to set it up use a landline phone. Of course, the only thing the stupid automated systems will do is send a TEXT to the phone on record… or to the email address which cannot be accessed and itself will only send a TEXT for verification. I think I MAY have found a way around this, using an SMS service for the landline. Still, this is weighing on me and I needed to “unload” it. A related problem is my own inability to receive text messages — on my MOBILE phone! I haven’t been able to send or receive texts since Feb 7th… and I HAVE paid my bill. I have to wrestle with my own service provider yet, and get that figured out. I am hoping to switch to some type of totally web-based phone service such as Google Voice… but once again, setting it up is a problem because they, too need to send a TEXT to your pre-existing phone number…! Arrrrrgh! Okay, so problem number 3 is more broad — just this indescribable head fog that I have been in off and on for about 2 weeks now. I keep feeling sick and otherwise “not all there”. I don’t know if it is the premenopause or food poisoning or the bad weather/low atmospheric pressure sitting over Texas and stealing away the lovely weather we had been having… Arrrgh again! The last problem is definitely the most longterm… my frustration over trying to balance my time and energy, pushing myself vs. relaxing and enjoying my Mate and our frugal life together… and a whole slew of related “troubles” including a burning desire to accomplish several “career” goals and gain some better financial freedom… along with a desire to help other people using my products and skillset… and that ever-present desire to be so flexible and “on top of things” that I can freely drop everything I am doing at any given moment and spend the rest of the day — or several days — just hanging out with my Mate, enjoying our freedom. No “arrrrgh” on that one… more like an “ahhhhh”. LOL 😉

 
Psalm 55 ERV

To the director: With instruments. A maskil of David. God, hear my prayer. Don’t ignore my cry for help. 
Please listen and answer me. Let me speak to you and tell you what upsets me. 
My enemies shout at me and threaten me. In their anger they attack me. They bring troubles crashing down on me. 
My heart is pounding inside me. I am afraid to die. 
I am trembling with fear. I am terrified! 
Oh, I wish I had wings like a dove. I would fly away and find a place to rest. 
I would go far into the desert and stay there. Selah 
I would run away. I would escape from this storm of trouble. 
My Lord, confuse their words and stop their plans. I see so much cruelty and fighting in this city. 
Day and night, in every neighborhood, the city is filled with evil and trouble. 
There is so much crime in the streets. People who hurt and cheat others are everywhere. 
If it were an enemy insulting me, I could bear it. If it were my enemies attacking me, I could hide. 
But it is you, the one so close to me, my companion, my good friend, who does this. 
We used to share our secrets with one another, as we walked through the crowds together in God’s Temple. 
I wish death would take my enemies by surprise! I wish the earth would open up and swallow them alive, because they plan such terrible things together. 
I will call to God for help, and the LORD will save me. 
I speak to God morning, noon, and night. I tell him what upsets me, and he listens to me! 
I have fought in many battles, but he has always rescued me and brought me back safely. 

God, who has always ruled as king, will hear me and punish my enemies. Selah But they will never change. They don’t fear and respect God. 
This one who was once my friend now attacks his friends. He is breaking every promise he made. 
His words about peace are as smooth as butter, but he has only war on his mind. His words are as slick as oil, but they cut like a knife. 
Give your worries to the LORD, and he will care for you. He will never let those who are good be defeated. 
But, God, you will send those liars and murderers to the grave. They will die before their life is half finished! As for me, I will put my trust in you. 

 
Lord, I sincerely feel like I HAVE fought in many battles, as mentioned in the verses above. To be honest, I feel rather wounded, temporarily weakened, like I could really use a break from the fighting. These last couple weeks have really taken a toll on me, and I still don’t know what has been causing it. I lift ALL my troubles up to you — just as David did — and I ask for your help. I ask you to help me rest in you, derive all of my strength from you, be guided and protected by you, and be found pleasing by you. I truly trust you completely, faithful Shepherd. Lead the way, and I shall follow. Amen.

 

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