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Apr 3

Good morning, Father.
Thank you for giving me the ability and determination to walk to the store every day, to keep up on groceries and accomplish other tasks, while I have no car. Thank you for the support of friends and people in your Church who love you and encourage me with their faith! Please guard my heart like a vulnerable little sheep today, Lord. My husband has the day “off”, although he may ask me to go with him to help him do a manual labor job to make an extra $100. Father, you see. You know how at 7am he was already raging and making bitter plans. And Father, you seem to have made me so that when someone rages against someone else, I tend to take the other person’s perspective, and blindly defend them against the verbal assault. It is in my nature to protect. So Father, my heart is already putting up a little wall against my husband and his bitter anger. Please help us both, cleanse our hearts of this negativity so that our home and our day can be filled with your peace. I cannot do it, Lord. I cannot stop my emotions from flaring when triggered by my husband’s harsh words. But you can. You can give me a CHANCE, a hope, a moment of clarity in which I can stop and SEE the situation for what it IS, instead of how it FEELS. Father, I ask you to give me that chance, a chance to respond with love rather than to respond in kind, with anger that doesn’t please you. And if I fail, Lord, I ask you to allow it to teach me, prepare me for the next time, so that I may grow in patience and love and eventually will be strong enough, stable enough to not react at all, outside of love. Thank you, Father! I give it to you now. I trust you with my heart and my life. 😀

 
Proverbs 4:16-27 ERV

The wicked cannot sleep until they have done something evil. They will not rest until they bring someone down.
Evil and violence are their food and drink.
The path of those who live right is like the early morning light. It gets brighter and brighter until the full light of day.
But the path of the wicked is like a dark night. They trip and fall over what they cannot see.
My son, pay attention to what I say. Listen closely to my words.
Don’t let them out of your sight. Never stop thinking about them.
These words are the secret of life and health to all who discover them.
Above all, be careful what you think because your thoughts control your life.

Don’t bend the truth or say things that you know are not right.
Keep your eyes on the path, and look straight ahead.
Make sure you are going the right way, and nothing will make you fall.
Don’t go to the right or to the left, and you will stay away from evil.

 
Lord, I ask you to help me remember your words of Life and Love, especially when I am around my husband today. Let me pay attention only to what YOU would do, how YOU would respond. Help me to stay humble and keep my mouth shut, and not fuel the fire of his angers. When I am deafened by his raging — today or in the future — let me still hear your words, and feel your peace and love and hope and freedom. Let me only really hear his words spoken in humility and truth, and let me respond as a helpmeet to his true needs. Father, please bless those who have blessed us, and please have mercy on our landlord — more mercy than he has ever shown to us. Thank you for giving me these trials that I may grow and learn and become more pleasing to you, Father! Thank you for choosing me.

 

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