Lord, may I tell you what hurts, even though I know you already know?
It grieves me to see my husband turn away from your truth, shut up his mouth, set his mind to not mention our faith in you to anyone again, because of our landlord, who claims to be a “Christian”. Lord, it hurts that the vast majority of people who have raped me, tortured me, left me for dead, all called themselves “Christian”. I wasn’t tortured for your Word, Lord. I was tortured for their evil purposes. And now, it’s the same thing, only it is about MONEY. Father, my husband’s heart is almost as innocent as my own in regards to money. It seems such a rare thing for people to be so sincerely unconcerned about money as my husband and I are. It feels like that is a special blessing you have given us. Yet, Lord, my husband’s heart is tempted now to be hardened against that gift, calling it a curse, because our landlord is so set on kicking us out of our home in 3 days time — over money. Lord, it pains me greatly that this man judged me, condemned me before my husband, cowed him and harassed him, asking over and over, “Is Fran working? Is Fran working?” Father, protect my heart and let me not be moved to revenge or retribution. I feel like getting in this “Christian” man’s face and asking him if he wants to hear why I cannot work a “real job” around people, why you have given me a job working at home instead, and how I have TRIED to get jobs, yet you always keep pointing me BACK to what you have given me to do. And I have taken so much heat — been so persecuted for doing this thing, Lord. It doesn’t seem to stop. But I know it will. Because you promise to wipe all tears from our eyes. One day, I will be free. Until then, Lord, please give me the strength to endure further torment and yet not let my heart grow cold and bitter. Thank you, Lord, that you have made mine and my husband’s hearts in such a way that we easily forgive and forget. You have surely seen the beautiful fruit your Word has produced in us. Please keep these false “Christians” out of the gardens of our minds and hearts, and let not THEIR seeds take root and spoil the good fruits you are growing in us!
Matthew 25:33-40 ERV
He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
“Then the king will say to the godly people on his right, ‘Come, my Father has great blessings for you. The kingdom he promised is now yours. It has been prepared for you since the world was made.
It is yours because when I was hungry, you gave me food to eat. When I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I had no place to stay, you welcomed me into your home.
When I was without clothes, you gave me something to wear. When I was sick, you cared for me. When I was in prison, you came to visit me.’
“Then the godly people will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and give you food? When did we see you thirsty and give you something to drink?
When did we see you with no place to stay and welcome you into our home? When did we see you without clothes and give you something to wear?
When did we see you sick or in prison and care for you?’
“Then the king will answer, ‘The truth is, anything you did for any of my people here, you also did for me.’
Lord, I thank you for my husband’s generous spirit, how even while we are facing eviction, he freely gives his heart and hands to others. He did not charge the old man money to fertilize his property, but went over after a long day’s work and did it for free. And this man is nearly a stranger! My husband took pity on a man at his workplace and gave him a couple hundred dollars worth of scrap metal off our property, no strings attached. And every day, he goes far, far out of his way to satisfy his customers, performing extra labor at no cost, even listening to their stories patiently, interacting with their pets and setting them at ease. Father, I pray that you use your mighty power to preserve that goodness in my husband. Protect his heart from ALL these recent arrows shot by the enemy’s bow. Help him wear the shield of faith more doggedly than ever, and trust in you ever more. Guide us through this time of upheaval, Lord, and let us pass through this fire further refined, for your glory. Amen.