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Jul 29

Good morning, Father.
Lord, this morning my heart is heavy. It is early on Sunday morning and I do NOT want to go to my sister’s church today. I have gone there more times in the last few months than I have been to a church in the last 2 decades combined, yet my “attendance” has been judged harshly by at least one of its members. I cannot believe that the first words this aspiring preacher man spoke to me were so condescending and judgemental. It triggers my rebellion and makes me want to never go there again… or at least not until my Mate can join me. The enemy sure used that man to cast an accurate dart right into me! I am finding it difficult not to just give up on the whole “church” altogether! You see my heart, Lord. You see how close I’ve clung to you since the first few years of my painful life, before I even had a concept of “God” or “church”. You see all the things that have discouraged me from feeling any love and acceptance from people who call themselves “Christians”, and how I have tried to give them another chance these last 14 months or so, ever since I went 2 times to that delightful church in Denton, Texas — which does not even exist any longer. I have never really loved my sister’s church, Lord, because the music and some of the other elements reminds me of the stiff and formal Catholic church I grew up in. Yet I feel your Spirit on the awesome pastor there, and some of those other people, too. I want to fellowship with THEM, but I do not want to endure more of that music, or be judged any more by nearsighted members who quench the Spirit and chase me away with their lack of Love. Lord Jesus, I give my heart and mind and body to you. Please heal this wound inflicted by this man, and encourage me and give me the strength to do Your will. I ask you for a peaceful day alone with You, for healing. And if you want me to go back to my sister’s church next week, I ask you to help me to not be bitter or defensive, but to forgive that man and just be open and loving and focus on You, Father, instead of on the people there who call themselves yours yet lack your Love. Continue to show me what you would have me to do there, Lord, and help me to remain humble and teachable and faithful to YOU. Amen.

Habakkuk 3:1‭-‬6 AMPC

A PRAYER of Habakkuk the prophet, set to wild, enthusiastic, and triumphal music. O Lord, I have heard the report of You and was afraid. O Lord, revive Your work in the midst of the years, in the midst of the years make [Yourself] known! In wrath [earnestly] remember love, pity, and mercy. God [approaching from Sinai] came from Teman [which represents Edom] and the Holy One from Mount Paran [in the Sinai region]. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! His glory covered the heavens and the earth was full of His praise. And His brightness was like the sunlight; rays streamed from His hand, and there [in the sunlike splendor] was the hiding place of His power. Before Him went the pestilence [as in Egypt], and burning plague followed His feet [as in Sennacherib’s army]. [Exod. 7:2-4; II Kings 19:32-35.] He stood and measured the earth; He looked and shook the nations, and the eternal mountains were scattered and the perpetual hills bowed low. His ways are everlasting and His goings are of old.

Lord, I feel so much Love for you and so much encouragement and acceptance from you, that I give every ounce of hurt and bitterness I feel for and from that church man to YOU. I ask you to cleanse me, make me pure from those emotions and mental hangups. I cannot cleanse myself of them, Lord. I need YOU to wash me with your Word, fill me with your Love, and protect me with your Faith. I trust you to do it, my faithful Shepherd. You have never let me down. I love you completely, my Lord. Amen.


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