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Feb 28

Hi, Father.
I think I am in some type of rut. Although I’ve made some progress today, I still feel like I am failing, running out of time — or making poor use of my time. Not learning, doing, creating, working FAST enough. I WANT to just be at ease and trust you to order my time, and I want to not even worry about the passage of time, like my Mate seems able to do. For the last weeks or months, I’ve gotten very good at NOT worrying about the passage of time and how much work I get done. But now that I have internet again, I feel obligated to make a tremendous amount of progress, while still spending time with my Mate, just hanging out and being together, enjoying our freedom. It’s not working, Lord. Even on days like today when I have so much time to work, I end up frustrated with myself, noticing how many things I wanted to work on, and how few I actually have gotten around to. I grow increasingly irritated at all the little delays and setbacks. I forget how to play. Lord, HOW do I balance work and play? Please HELP me to just relax and enjoy my work, and stop expecting so very much. Help me to not begrudge the work I do, feeling like I’ve betrayed the things in my heart that I never got around to. I want to do so MANY things, Lord. Some days I truly wish I didn’t have so very many interests and pursuits. 🙁

Psalm 34:17-33 ERV

Pray to the LORD, and he will hear you. He will save you from all your troubles. 
The LORD is close to those who have suffered disappointment. He saves those who are discouraged. 
Good people might have many problems, but the LORD will take them all away. 
He will protect them completely. Not one of their bones will be broken. 
But troubles will kill the wicked. The enemies of those who live right will all be punished. 
The LORD saves his servants. All who go to him for protection will escape punishment. 

Father please help me break free of this discouragement. Help me to stop being so selfish and keeping my eyes on myself and my own expectations and dreams. Help me to find a way to help others instead, and to build something for them, to meet their needs instead of my own ambitions. Teach me the way to live and to work for you, Lord. Amen.


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