Good morning, Father!
I am so glad that you see my future and still have hope for me, because I certainly am faultering in it! I feel like I will never climb out of poverty, never have a “real job” or a “real life”, and never accomplish anything respectable. I am the most calm and peaceful and (normally) hopeful person I know, yet it doesn’t seem to do me any good. I do not know how to use my abilities and strengths to help others, or to support myself and my family. I feel like a failure, Lord, and it is really hurting me today! 🙁
Psalm 42 ERV
To the director: A maskil from the Korah family. Like a deer drinking from a stream, I reach out to you, my God.
My soul thirsts for the living God. When can I go to meet with him?
Instead of food, I have only tears day and night, as my enemies laugh at me and say, “Where is your God?”
My heart breaks as I remember the pleasant times in the past, when I walked with the crowds as I led them up to God’s Temple. I remember the happy songs of praise as they celebrated the festival.
Why am I so sad? Why am I so upset? I tell myself, “Wait for God’s help! You will again be able to praise him, your God, the one who will save you.” In my sadness I say, “I will remember you from here on this small hill, where Mount Hermon and the Jordan River meet.”
I hear the roar of the water coming from deep within the earth. It shouts to the water below as it tumbles down the waterfall. God, your waves come one after another, crashing all around and over me.
By day the LORD shows his faithful love, and at night I have a song for him–a prayer for the God of my life.
I say to God, my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I suffer this sadness that my enemies have brought me?”
Their constant insults are killing me. They never stop asking, “Where is your God?”
Why am I so sad? Why am I so upset? I tell myself, “Wait for God’s help! You will again be able to praise him, your God, the one who will save you.”
Lord, I AM feeling a little abandoned, and that is NOT fair to you! You are just as faithful now, when I am feeling down and discouraged, as you are when I am feeling bright and happy and productive and super-encouraged. Please help me to keep trusting in you and never give up. Please help me to stay faithful and keep looking to you. But please also show me what to do with my time, and encourage me when I am using it wisely, even if it doesn’t do a darn bit of good to help me achieve things that I THINK I really need — like a reliable car and money to pay rent! I feel like such a fool, when the realities of life cascade over me — like the waves in the Psalm above. Help me not to drown, Lord!