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Sep 13

Good morning, Father.
Thank you for the humor of waking up rather energetic two mornings in a row, climbing out of bed and looking at my phone to find that it is exactly two o’clock in the morning, lol. This morning I am grateful that I have a warm place to sleep, a warm and loving and peacefully snoring lump in my bed (LOL) that warms my heart as well, and the freedom to choose what time I awake and what I do with my time after getting up. I thank you that I have not had to use an alarm clock for many, many years, but instead have been able to trust you to wake me at the perfect time, even on the few mornings when I had to be somewhere at a particular time. I thank you that I have had few of those mornings, and that I am self-motivated enough not to NEED to play the game of working for someone else. I know that the tradeoff is a certain isolation from “normal” people and having a “normal” income or a “normal” job or even a “normal” outlook on life. But I delight in the fact that my Lord did not spend his time walking this earth as a “normal” person himself, and today your Holy Sprit encourages me to use my time and other resources wisely, never ever being comfortable with letting even a single day slip by without accomplishing something — even if I am sick and all I do is learn more about some topic through my awesome Great Courses Plus library of downloaded videos, lol.

Malachi 3:13-18 ERV

The LORD says, “You said cruel things to me.” But you ask, “What did we say about you?” 
You said, “It is useless to worship God. We did what the LORD All-Powerful told us, but we didn’t gain anything. We cried like people at a funeral to show we were sorry for our sins, but it didn’t help. 
We think proud people are happy. Evil people succeed. They do evil things to test God’s patience, and God does not punish them.” 
Then the LORD’S followers spoke with each other, and the LORD listened to them. There is a book in front of him. In that book are the names of his followers. They are the people who honor the LORD’S name. 
The LORD said, “They belong to me. I will be kind to them. Parents are very kind to their children who obey them. In the same way I will be kind to my followers. 
You people will come back to me, and you will learn the difference between good and evil. You will learn the difference between someone who follows God and someone who does not. 

Lord, I ask that each person whom I care for, including my own self, be encouraged to know and understand the difference between good and evil, and be able to discern what people and what courses of action and what states of mind and what attitudes of the heart serve you, and which do not. Bless each one of us with your merciful care, Lord God, and guide us forward on our path with you this day. Amen.

Lord, I feel much too self-absorbed this morning, which often happens when I have been pushing myself to work hard on my digital projects and products. But I thank you for helping me learn the new techniques of responsive web design using Adobe Muse and Dreamweaver, and I pray that you bless and guide my efforts, so that my time and energy bear good fruit for YOU. I feel a bit hurt that only a single individual out of the hundreds of thousands of regular visitors to my website have spoken up to give me any feedback on selling the site — and even that was largely negative. It is hard to not feel like I have wasted a decade of my life serving people who mostly seem so spoiled and ungrateful for the thousands of pages of free and low-cost materials I have provided for them since 2005. I am sorry for being so highly “sensitive”, Lord. But I suppose you know that about me, and perhaps even made me that way for some purpose. I think if I do not get a good offer for the site, I will open it up for others to contribute materials, rather than even considering giving more of my creativity to these people. I realize there may be quite a number of individuals who ARE truly grateful for my sacrifices, so I pray that you help me to let GO of my hurt and my bitterness and continue to serve them ALL to the best of my ability, in whatever manner YOU choose for me to do, Lord. I would really like to hand the whole Spanish thing over to someone else, pass the buck to someone who can devote their own time and resources to it, give it the attention it deserves. Help me to not feel so hurt and betrayed, Lord, but instead to just be your little Acceptance with Joy. Amen.


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