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Jun 29

Good morning, Father.
Thank you for HOPE that I might be able to spend some time at the library today, practicing PHP and a few different Adobe CC applications. Lord, I want to just hide inside you today. Life seems too harsh and cold otherwise. Thank you for the kindness and cheerfulness of a few people who are really helping my heart lately, and thank you for helping me stay strong enough to help my husband whenever he needs it. Please let my work fuel me today. Help me meet obstacles with positivity and an attitude of adventurous learning. Don’t let the mini failures and setbacks of the learning curve discourage me too badly, Father. Help me get a step closer to achieving the vision you set before me — part of my heart’s desire. Thank you for helping me to keep that vision safe between you and I, Lord, so that it does not get degraded or damaged in the telling.

 
from Psalm 69 (various verses) ERV

I am getting weak from calling for help. My throat is sore. I have waited and looked for your help until my eyes are hurting. 
God, you know my faults. I cannot hide my sins from you. 
My Lord GOD All-Powerful, don’t let me embarrass your followers. God of Israel, don’t let me bring disgrace to those who worship you. 
My face is covered with shame. I carry this shame for you. 
My strong devotion to your Temple is destroying me. Those who insult you are also insulting me. 
When I spend time crying and fasting, they make fun of me.
As for me, LORD, this is my prayer to you: Please accept me! God, I want you to answer me with love. I know I can trust you to save me. 
Pull me from the mud, and don’t let me sink down deeper. Save me from those who hate me. Save me from this deep water. 
Don’t let the waves drown me. Don’t let the deep sea swallow me or the grave close its mouth on me. 
Answer me, LORD, from the goodness of your faithful love. Out of your great kindness turn to me and help me! 

 
Lord, when I think of going to the library and perhaps a few other strategic places around the college campus, learning, practicing new skills, making progress… I feel gleeful, confident, bold, and excited! I feel like I have a home, a place where my skills and personal strengths can shine and eventually help others abundantly! 😀 But when I think of staying here or going to where the camper is, for various reasons I feel defeated, useless, shameful, vulnerable, weak and worthless. I do not know if this is a way that you are guiding me, Lord. I do not want to choose the “easy” way just because it is more pleasant to me. Help me to choose YOUR way, Shepherd. Guide me to the places that YOU would have me to be today. Help me see these opposing opportunities clearly, through your eyes rather than through my dim human vision. Help me to hear you more clearly, the voice of my faithful Shepherd — and help me to always choose you. Amen.

 

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