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Jun 13

Lord, I have learned sooooooo very much in the last several hours, that I actually fear I won’t remember ANY of it! Most is stuff related to my work — how to do certain things to prepare and process digital files and such, as well as little things to remember when working at libraries — stuff like that. But the more valuable things have to do with myself in relationships — the nitty gritty good stuff! For example, the most painful truth I have learned today is that my super-nurturing, seeking out ways to help others — like my Mate — is actually more irritating than helpful! Who knew? Why do not we each come with instruction manuals… “And watch out for THIS flaw, because it really gets on people’s nerves, no matter how much you think you are helping them…” and other helpful hints like that. LOL 😛 I also learned that my Mate really does NOT expect much of anything from me — which is confusing because he gets so upset when I don’t know where something is located that he needs ASAP, or other little things like that. But, it is quite insightful to realize that much less is expected of me than what I expected. LOL again.

Psalm 116:1-12 ERV

I love the LORD for hearing me, for listening to my prayers. 
Yes, he paid attention to me, so I will always call to him whenever I need help. 
Death’s ropes were around me. The grave was closing in on me. I was worried and afraid. 
Then I called on the LORD’S name. I said, “LORD, save me!” 
The LORD is good and merciful; our God is so kind. 
The LORD takes care of helpless people. I was without help, and he saved me. 
My soul, relax! The LORD is caring for you. 
Lord, you saved my soul from death. You stopped my tears. You kept me from falling. 
I will continue to serve the LORD in the land of the living. 
I continued believing even when I said, “I am completely ruined!” 
Yes, even when I was upset and said, “There is no one I can trust!” 
What can I give the LORD for all that he has done for me?

Oh, Lord, if only my soul would chill out and relax more! Please help me, Shepherd, to not get so worked up and emotional and frightened and whatever else lies just under the surface, draining me. Although I feel like I honestly do keep MOST of my emotions to myself, they still sneak out when I’m not guarding them, and sometimes even get me in trouble. I get impatient and worried some times. I feel lonely and needy some times. I crave comfort and understanding. But I really do have everything I need, if only I would just trust in You, Lord God! Please increase my wisdom and help me to maintain an attitude of gratitude, so I can be strong. Thank you for always caring for me. My soul, relax! 😛


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