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Jun 12

Lord, this is very difficult. I am not beautiful, not successful, not rich. When I am light and free and there is music, I dance and am the life of the party. I don’t even need a buzz, as I haven’t had a drop of alcohol in over 9 months. But on a daily basis, the only things I can feel good about myself are my toughness and physical strength and low maintenance, compared to other females in general. Yet the things I am feeling MOST weakened by lately are the lack of FEMININE comforts — like clean clothes, kind words, tender hugs, understanding support. Or at least I interpret these as “feminine” — perhaps we all need most of those, to some degree. Father, I know you see me pouring out all but the first of those comforts daily, almost constantly, to everyone I meet. Lord, I feel like I tolerate so much, expect so little, even do so well with what little I have. Yet I am finding myself constantly running to you just for basic life support. I keep feeling so empty, so dry, so painfully sensitive. It SEEMS like I don’t have what I need, but I know in fact that is a LIE, because you are faithful, and if I really did need the things that I THINK I need, then YOU would make sure I have them. So Lord I ask you to please make me tougher than I am, even though I honestly thought I was tough enough already. Please help me to just appreciate what I have, so that I don’t grow bitter and resentful as I continue to give others what I feel so desperate to receive myself. Make me stronger, like you, Lord Jesus. Amen.

1 Peter 5:10 ERV

Yes, you will suffer for a short time. But after that, God will make everything right. He will make you strong. He will support you and keep you from falling. He is the God who gives all grace. He chose you to share in his glory in Christ. That glory will continue forever. 

Lord, plese help me to keep my eyes on YOU today. Help me to trust that my Shepherd cares for me, and I cannot understand His ways or know His timing, but I can still trust Him. Please help me to continue to give to others using YOUR strength, knowing I will never run out of that. Please comfort my lonely heart and encourage me in the things YOU would have me to accomplish for you this day. Thank you for choosing me, and thank you for giving me choice. I look forward to fresh installments of your mercy and strength, Lord Jesus. Amen.


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