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May 30

Lord, my heart is weary. I long for a compassionate, understanding hug and reassuring words. I wish someone besides you had a clue what I am going through, how strong and resilient and trusting I’ve been. But instead I feel like I am supposed to do everything perfectly, and not have any needs or weaknesses. I am supposed to get up and pour out.. and somehow keep track of every little thing we own, and so very, very much MORE. Lord, I thank you sincerely for the merciful, loving restoration you provided last night, reminding me of the source of my joy, and making me overflow with gratitude. You turned my heart from the path of bitterness, onto the path of compassion. I am ashamed that I did not wake up feeling as strong as when I finally went to sleep. Forgive me, Lord, and guide me back to gratitude and strength, so I can continue to help my husband and anyone else you put before me. Amen.

Ephesians 4:10‭-‬16 ERV

So Christ came down, and he is the same one who went up. He went up above the highest heaven in order to fill everything with himself. And that same Christ gave these gifts to people: He made some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to go and tell the Good News, and some to care for and teach God’s people. Christ gave these gifts to prepare God’s holy people for the work of serving, to make the body of Christ stronger. This work must continue until we are all joined together in what we believe and in what we know about the Son of God. Our goal is to become like a full-grown man—to look just like Christ and have all his perfection. Then we will no longer be like babies. We will not be people who are always changing like a ship that the waves carry one way and then another. We will not be influenced by every new teaching we hear from people who are trying to deceive us—those who make clever plans and use every kind of trick to fool others into following the wrong way. No, we will speak the truth with love. We will grow to be like Christ in every way. He is the head, and the whole body depends on him. All the parts of the body are joined and held together, with each part doing its own work. This causes the whole body to grow and to be stronger in love.

Thank you, Lord, for hope. Thank you for the hope that some day all the books and craft supplies I have stored away will be useful to others. I still fervently desire to set up a place in some small town, in some state further north where it is moist and forested, hopefully even within earshot of a lovely peaceful train… a ministry that can share your Love with others through art and books and occupational and recreational fellowship. I don’t know if or when that will happen, but I have a good foundation for it, both in materials and in my “homing instinct” LOL


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