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May 26

Lord, it is hot, almost 100 degrees. I thought we would be out of Texas weeks ago. Help me to not get too irritable, and to just stay light and supportive and sensitive to all my husband’s needs, and less sensitive to my own. Thank you for helping me get a full night of sleep, despite the heat and lack of breeze. To be honest, not having electricity is turning out to be less painful than anticipated. I do still feel quite lost without internet, though, trying desperately to conserve mobile data even while yet more people waste my time and resources “window shopping”, asking questions about the things we have posted for sale, even saying they are on their way over… then never showing up. I am so discouraged and SICK of people wasting my time and resources that I truly feel like I could cry for three days straight. I feel burned out, used up, wounded and desperate for a show of kindness and some positivity. I truly wish you would just move the heart of even one of your people to find this blog or one of my other sites, and send me an encouraging word or maybe even donate enough money to relieve this pressure on me to get money by selling my husband’s stuff while still maintaining my mobile data and keeping a charge on my phone. It all seems so impossible, Lord. I wish we could just leave all this stuff as a donation to our landlord, and yet somehow walk away with enough money in our pockets to survive awhile. I really don’t think I ask too much, Lord. I really feel like I have been enduring like a trooper. How is it that I find myself so suddenly with tears streaming down my face, emotionally exhausted, surprised at how weak I feel?

James 4:8-17 ERV

Come near to God and he will come near to you. You are sinners, so clean sin out of your lives. You are trying to follow God and the world at the same time. Make your thinking pure. Be sad, be sorry, and cry! Change your laughter into crying. Change your joy into sadness. Be humble before the Lord, and he will make you great. Brothers and sisters, don’t say anything against each other. If you criticize your brother or sister in Christ or judge them, you are criticizing and judging the law they follow. And when you are judging the law, you are not a follower of the law. You have become a judge. God is the one who gave us the law, and he is the Judge. He is the only one who can save and destroy. So it is not right for you to judge anyone. Some of you say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to some city. We will stay there a year, do business, and make money.” Listen, think about this: You don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Your life is like a fog. You can see it for a short time, but then it goes away. So you should say, “If the Lord wants, we will live and do this or that.” But now you are proud and boast about yourself. All such boasting is wrong. If you fail to do what you know is right, you are sinning.

Lord, help me to just draw near to you, and trust you to take care of all things, in your perfect way, in your perfect timing. Help me to grow strong again by thanking you for every tiny thing in my life that does not suck, from my soaking wet shirt that’s keeping me cooler, to the protein bread that’s giving my body energy. I look forward to learning more about you and your Creation and your people. Amen.


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