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Mar 23

Hello, Father.
Thank you for keeping me alive through everything, Lord. I appreciate having a chance to serve you and to learn more about you and your creation. Father, I find myself essentially homeless already this morning, all my belongings in a backpack, eating breakfast on the sidewalk under a tree, and typing this post from inside the library – same as last night. It happened sooner than expected, Lord, and in a way I never saw coming. I don’t even know what to think, or how to feel. I am just WEARY. I WISH I had someone to call on, but all I have is you, Lord. Please let that be ENOUGH, but also let me stay open to any help you allow me from others, Father. Thank you.

 
Isaiah 54:4-6 ERV

Don’t be afraid! You will not be disappointed. People will not say bad things against you. You will not be embarrassed. When you were young, you felt shame. But you will forget that shame now. You will not remember the shame you felt when you lost your husband. 
Your real husband is the one who made you. His name is the LORD All-Powerful. The Holy One of Israel is your Protector, and he is the God of all the earth! 
“Like a woman whose husband has left her, you were very sad. You were like a young wife left all alone. But the LORD has called you back to him.” This is what your God says.

 
Lord, I am really looking forward to losing my shame. The same thorny bush that pierced my soul as an infant is still poking me to this day. It never seems to end — no end in sight except for one day going HOME to you, Father! I do not know how to survive this wound, this time. Please help me to not turn all my anguish upon myself, and put mine own hand to my throat. I am tired, Lord. Please carry me for a minute.

 

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