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Jan 18

Hello, Father!
Thank you for the awesome night, even being awake for a couple or a few hours in the night, like a little oasis of wakefulness in the sea of sleeping, lol. Thank you for making me flexible and cheerful, so that such things like that do not disturb or distract me. Thank you for making me an incurable optimist! 🙂 Father, I thank you for the awesome opportunity that is LIFE! I have an overabundance of JOY, so I thank you for giving me at least some ways to get some of it OUT, so I do not explode! Lord, I can’t help but notice that I have this overflowing joy, but NO money — even facing eviction with NO means of transportation at all — but yet I am certain that there are many people out there who have an abundance of money, and are lacking joy. I would give my joy away for free, knowing full well that I can never empty any well that YOU fill, Lord. The more joy is shared, the more it grows. There’s no escape, haha! Father, I know that you will provide. I have no doubt about that. But I do ask that you bless anyone who blesses me — let there be a way for me to “infect” others with my joy — whether they have anything to give in return or not. Amen.

Psalm 30 ERV

A song of David for the dedication of the Temple. LORD, you lifted me out of my troubles. You did not give my enemies a reason to laugh, so I will praise you.
LORD my God, I prayed to you, and you healed me.
LORD, you lifted me out of the grave. I was falling into the place of death, but you saved my life.
Praise the LORD, you who are loyal to him! Praise his holy name!
His anger lasts for a little while, but then his kindness brings life. The night may be filled with tears, but in the morning we can sing for joy!
When I was safe and secure, I thought nothing could hurt me.
Yes, LORD, while you were kind to me, I felt that nothing could defeat me. But when you turned away from me, I was filled with fear.
So, LORD, I turned and prayed to you. I asked you, Lord, to show me mercy.
I said, “What good is it if I die and go down to the grave? The dead just lie in the dirt. They cannot praise you. They cannot tell anyone how faithful you are.
LORD, hear my prayer, and be kind to me. LORD, help me!”
You have changed my sorrow into dancing. You have taken away my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.
You wanted me to praise you and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever!

Lord, I thank you that you literally DID save me from the grave! When I was only 5 years old, and barely that, the crazy old people put me in the ground for their stupid sacrifice, probably assuming I would not live through it. But you came to me, Lord. When I felt I could not hold onto life, and no longer wanted to, when the bugs had begun to penetrate by body and I could not stop them, you appeared to me like a little child, the most beautiful form of “human” I have ever seen, and your presence and your words gave me LIFE! I still wish I could have stayed with you then, especially since they pulled me out of the ground, found me breathing, and plunged me into icy water which I will never forget! The reality of this life is harsh in many ways, but I thank you that you do not give me ALL those harshnesses all at once. I may be facing homelessness for the umpteenth time in my life — this time without a car! — but right now, I am WARM, and dry, and I have enough food, and my daily contact lenses are lasting for weeks at a time, each one — and I still have a couple left — and above all, I feel abundantly RICH with love and joy and peace. Father, if it be possible, I ask you to let me give away some of these uncountable blessings in exchange for some money or other help, for my family. Help my husband and daughter. Provide for them, Father, as you have always provided for me. I know you will. I trust you completely. Amen. 😀


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