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Jan 12

Lord, I am frightened. Or at least parts of me are. I mostly know that it is safe for me to go to the landlord’s house this morning and give them money. But since it is only half what we owe them, I fear they will not let me leave. My husband says they are good people, God-fearing. But that is what people said about my dad and my uncles and many of the other people who used my body to pay debts my family owed. I do realize that was almost 4 decades ago, or at least most of it. The last abuse by my dad was a huge betrayal against me, right there along with my first husband, and THAT was less than 2 decades ago. Still, you have kept me safe for many, many years now. And even when my body was not safe, you always kept my heart with you. You gave me joy and peace, even while I recovered from whatever most recent episode.

Psalm 23, ERV style (heehee — THIS is different!)

A song of David. The LORD is my shepherd. I will always have everything I need.
He gives me green pastures to lie in. He leads me by calm pools of water.
He restores my strength. He leads me on right paths to show that he is good.
Even if I walk through a valley as dark as the grave, I will not be afraid of any danger, because you are with me. Your rod and staff comfort me.
You prepared a meal for me in front of my enemies. You welcomed me as an honored guest. My cup is full and spilling over.
Your goodness and mercy will be with me all my life, and I will live in the LORD’S house a long, long time.

Thank you, Lord, for always taking care of me, for welcoming me in your house as part of your family. Please help me to trust you better, knowing you will not betray me as others have.


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